AloysisKorbaut

Somewhere, perhaps in another universe, or some parallel dimension, there existed a place of magic, of adventure, and of brightly-colored talking horses. This universe was relatively peaceful, if one was to judge it against our own, but was not without its trials and tribulations. We shall call it Equestria. Because that was its name. You might laugh at the idea that these problems typically fell along the lines of relationship problems, friendship troubles, strife between pals, and- well, you get the point. You see, when you live somewhere that has never seen plague or genocide, your friends not liking your parties suddenly becomes the wors

The Sunday Paper by Aloysis the Brilliant, Witty, Intelligent, Smart-like, and Kick-[expletive deleted]. What makes a man a man? What IS a man? Who am I? That last one was a trick question. I know who I am. But do you? I am a man of some repute. Quite a lot, I assure you, but "some" encompasses "little" so I suppose that's redundant. Anyway, in some parts, I am known as Eric, but you may call me Johann. I always liked that name. No, no, don't say your name; it's safer that way. And, also, I don't really care to learn your name. You don't look like anyone special. I'm not picky, however, so let us begin. And by us, I mean me. It all star

     Once upon a time, there was a fruit bat named Marco. Marco was a simple fruit bat; he didn't want much in life- only to be incredibly successful. So far that had evaded him, so he decided to change tactics. He decided he would write a story. The story would be about a fruit bat named Steven who wanted to write a story. About fruit.      Marco had trouble starting his story at first, unsure whether he should simply jump right in or take his time and plan things out. Then he remembered that he was a fruit bat and that he had never planned anything out in his life. He reached for his notebo

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 10TH, 2010 "I'm going to jump over that chair." This is the alleged last statement made by untalented author, cheese purveyor, and chair jumping extraordinaire Fred Heimann who died this past Sunday. Mr. Heimann was known by many close friends to be a bit of a daredevil and "a little stupid," but mysterious circumstances surrounding the incident have led police to pursue a further investigation. More information will be posted when made available. FRIDAY, MARCH 12TH, 2010 The following is an excerpt from Thursday's press conference by chief-of-police Mark Zeiner. "Based on the evidence at the scene of the incident, we h

I was going to write a story But forgot how exactly to write. It was going to be a doozy- And that's exactly the size of my plight. It would have had elves and unicorns, And puppies and chocolate and bees. A man who shifts between many forms and an angry polar bear named Steve. But that will all have to go on hold Till I re-learn the crafting of words. Will I go back to school? I'll let life unfold- And write a memo to myself to be sure.

Bob the Sandwich was walking down the sidewalk when a fork appeared out of thin air. It cried, "I will end you, Bob the Sandwich!" Bob walked right past the fork. The fork yelled, "WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME, YOU FOOL?" Bob then used sign language to stop a nearby taxi. "Oh."

All those years ago When we still could smile And sit next to each other With no worries or fears, I never thought I'd end up like this. With my head on the desk, Holding back the tears That come when I see you. Living your happy life. Living your happy life without me. And I wonder as I stare At the picture of you and your new boyfriend, If you you ever stop and start to think Of me just as I am of you. But you two make such a nice couple. And when I think of how We could sit as we once did So long ago, and embrace, I can't help but smile. And I can't help but cry. Because... I love you. I've loved you ever since You s

I surround myself With arrogance, naïveté, With fraudulence, and with foolishness. And I laugh And play along, But I look to the day When we will meet again. My friends. My friends- my only friends- You seem so far away, Yet so close. The sage, and the dreamer, The dreamer, and the sage. Only you understand, And only you listen. Sage, How long has it been- How long will it be? You sat and listened To every foolish word That escaped my lips. And you smiled. Unknown, unheard; The man in the midst of children. I miss you, Sage. Dreamer, Though I barely know you, You have mesmerized me. You look to the futur

        Once upon a time, there was this guy. His name was Joe... or something. Joe liked to eat hot dogs. One day, Joe decided to eat a hot dog. So he did. Then he went to bed.        The next day, Joe decided to make a movie. He didn't have any equipment, however, so he went and bought a video camera. It was ok, but he didn't do much research before-hand, so he paid a bit more for it than he should have. Better luck next time Joe.        Anyway, Joe started on his film right away. It would be a massive adventure about a woman named Jessica. Joe didn't know much about fantasy, so he made things up